Photographs…not the Def Leppard song, though, sorry

Ok, I know the song is actually Photograph, singular not plural with the s. Deal with it. That’s how I roll.

Anyway, I got a new phone that does coooool things like take pictures and keep me organized and let’s me play scrabble while driving down I-40 at 85 miles per hour. So look with your eyeholes and leave comments with your fleshy letter poking hand sticks

Ding! Ding! Ding! Its Time for more Chicken Wings!

I have this new panini grill thingy I got from, shudder to say it , Wally World, and i have to say it totally kicks ass. It has flat or grooved platens which are dishwasher safe. That’s right, platens. Look it up. I am a proficient Scrabble player so I already have, so HA! Anyway, this little sucker has a floating hing and can open up flat to form a griddle. It’s like a classy George Foreman grill but without bad-assed infomercials and its not angled to reduce the fat of my 20% fat hamburger that i bought because it had more fat than the ground sirloin. And it’s shiny, or at least it was until I got a hold of it. I am rough on gadgets and really most things. I go through shoes like Trump goes through Russian brides or a hot knife goes through butter or like a hot knife going through a Russian bride. You get the picture. I am the ultimate consumer because everything i touch i wind up breaking and have to buy a new one. Ask the Mrsishungry, she’ll tell you. Go on ask her dammit!

Where was I? oh yeah, so i made some wings. clipped the tips and made some broth while the wings cooked on the grill. I left the two sections connected until after cooking them so they’re easier to handle on the grill. You can also skewer them once you’ve straightened them out by popping that “elbow” joint out, and fit two wings per skewer. Looks cool and is much easier to manipulate on an outdoor, honest to god that thing is on fire, kind of grill. I simply seasoned the little suckers in some commercial Butt Rub brand BBQ salt mixture and slapped them on the aforementioned badassed panini grill thingy and let em cook away. Then they got tossed and sauced( YEAH RHYMING WORDS!!!) and i ate them. I was going to share them with the kids, but then I said to myself , i says, “Self, screw em!” so I ate all the delicious hot sauce and honey laden chicken skin bundles o’ joy.

Southland Dinner is in the Books

Well we pulled it off. The dinner last night at Southland Books in Maryville, Tennessee was a success. It went smoother than our first attempt, we had a good crowd, and everyone seemed to leave happy, or at the very least the were nice enough to keep any whining to themselves. I started cooking my buns off around 9 in the morning, and finally hung it up around 10:30 with the occasional sanity saving game on Mario Kart on the Wii. I don’t know why, but nothing relaxes me more than playing Mario Kart and listening to the news on NPR which probably means I’m some kind of left wing, stimulation hound who can only block out the raging voices in his head by replacing them with computerized squawks and beeps and droning politicos waxing poetic in his ear. Or something like that. The only bad note is I woke up feeling a little puny, as they say around here, so I am going to head back to the bed and let the immune system do its thing, cause I have a long weekend ahead of me. I did manage to click a few pics this time, but most of them were blurry and awful but I picked out a couple that y’all might take a liking to.

Even More Chicken Wings

I have been challenged by my blog buddy, SoapBird to a food post contest, and I took the easy way out and made everyone’s favorite, or at least anyone with taste buds, chicken wings.

These were not fried, as you can see, but were roasted and glazed after being dry rubbed. For the rub i used approximately equal amounts of the spices, except for salt where i used half as much. I find proportional recipes work with spice rubs and the like, that way you can make as much or as little as you need, just keep the ratio the same. I let the wings sit after being rubbed for a while, then into the oven they went. Notice my roasting set up: its a cookie sheet lined in foil for easy cleanup, with a cookie cooling rack on it, which just happens to fit perfectly. Works like a charm and isn’t too heavy or bulky like some roasting pans or broiler pans, and you can still use them for their intended purposes. I had the oven heated to 375, and after 20 minutes or so , i flipped them over and started giving them the glaze. The super yummy glaze is super simple and super good on wings or any grilled meats, especially shrimp. It is plain old Louisiana style hot sauce( not Tabasco) with an equal amount of honey and a good pinch or so of fresh cracked pepper, and maybe just a splash of vinegar to keep it zingy. Paint the chicken every 5 minutes or so until the sauce is gone and the wings are sticky and ridiculously aromatic. Let them rest and serve them with elegantly arranged celery slivers, 2 wings per person with a small cup of chai tea…ok , just eat the hell out of these bastards, dip them in some ranch or blue cheese or whatever mayo-based nastiness you wish, just be prepared to share if anyone else see them.

Here is the official recipe:

Salt, pepper, paprika, onion powder, chili powder, mustard powder and turmeric…1 Tbsp o’ salt, 2 Tbsp o the rest of them…this will make more than enough for this recipe and a couple more!!!

Rub into chicken wings, cover and stick in the fridge for a couple of hours to overnight

Heat oven to 375F…stick wings in that sucker

After 20 minutes, flip ’em over and mop ’em with your glaze..repeat the flip and glaze every 5-8 minutes until chicken is done, around 45 minutes in all..internal temp to 165F, of course

Eat them as fast as possible, wash down with heroic quantities of your favorite porter, or drink of choice

Spicy’s Original Wing Sauce circa 1989

My first real introduction to cooking for a living was at Spicy’s on the Cumberland Avenue strip(see Jaqui’s Tacos for more info) , and what we were really known for was chicken wings. We had one sauce, didn’t use any butter or oil and it was perfect. If you asked for extra hot you just got more sauce, if you asked for mild, you got less. We did all you can eat wings for 7.99 ( i think) sometimes twice a week.  The endless plates of crisp fried goodies drew in quite a collection of folks, most impressive being the groups of offensive linemen for the UT Vols. Needless to say, but i will anyway, six gentlemen averaging 300+ pounds can put a serious hurting on some chicken wings. This was before we switched to “draft” sodas and served Coke, Sprite and Grape and Orange Nehi’s in glass bottles, along with only bottled beer. and a can or two of Foster’s. So along with the mounds of chicken bones would be 30-40 glass bottles and reams of napkins. The most ever eaten at Spicy’s was by a tall lanky fellow who wolfed down 128 chicken wings in a relative blink of an eye.  I have a lot more thoughts about this place, what i learned there, both good and bad, and just the building itself. It was a Swenson’s Ice Cream parlor, and before that it was Ollie’s Trolly, which i remember my dad taking to me to when he drug me to class with him at UT. They had the best french fries  ever. Bar none. I have replicated that recipe which i will share.Then we would go next door to the Electric Wizard and play pinball and Joust and Qbert and Pengo and Gauntlet and the football game with two trackballs that would pinch your palm if you hit it too hard and just right. Anywho, here are a couple of secret recipes, revealed for the first time! BWAHAHAHAAAHAH   BWAHAHAAHAHAAA!!! (evil laugh<<<<)

SPICY”S ORIGINAL WING SAUCE

1 gallon Louisiana brand hot sauce. no substitutions!!!!!

Mix together 2 TBSP of each of these:

granulated garlic

black pepper

white pepper

onion powder

Cayenne pepper

and the secret ingredient (drum roll please)…….Tiger Seasoning. yep, MSG. and i hate MSG…makes my innards churn and stuff, but without it, the sauce does not taste the same, although it is still yummy..

Mix spices to jar of hotsauce, shake it like a Polaroid picture, then let it sit for a day or so….Keeps until it is gone, which won;t be long…share with friends…

BUT STEVE< I DON’T HAVE A GALLON OF HOT SAUCE, ONLY A WIMPY FROO_FROO BOTTLE…..well, tough shit…do the math or buy more hot sauce

And i know it is a simple , simple recipe…no chipotle, no asian influences, nothing funky at all but doctored up hot sauce. but try it on some crispy, fried wings and you will be convinced…AND DO NOT BREAD YOUR WINGS!!! if you do you are an idiot. I’m sorry to say that, but i heard it from your mom.

Wings and the Rock Band

Today , myself and a couple of comrades, the Elusive GTJ and Mini Kenny, took part in a sweet little charitable disc golf event. Thanks to Mike the Director’s efforts, 600 bucks was raised for a family in need this holiday season. This kind of Karmic opportunity dies not come along too often and i jumped at the chance for redemption. The act of playing a game with my friends in the park somehow turned out to be a chance to do something nice for someone almost no one involved has ever met. We all had the chance to pay ahead a good deed while throwing frisbees ( some of the more exotic participants were witnessed drinking what looked like beer) and goofing off. Beats the hell out of working anyday of the week.

I started my round off like a man possessed, shooting 6 birdies thru the first 7 holes. Then i forgot how to hold a disc, much less throw one and my score crept closer to its normal comfort zone. I was able to hold on to a 3 under par for the day with  9 birdies,  2 bogeys and 2 double bogeys It also just so happened that i won a Rock Band set for the PS2 during the days events, thanks to a perfectly placed putter, 2 and one half foot off of the pin. Not sure what to do with it yet, but not bad booty for 2 bucks.

So i came home and made some chicken wings for my buddy Mini and his family of Mini’s Not So Much So. The little ones had weiners and such, but we had some salad, and guacamole and a bunch of sticky, slightly spicy, garlicky wings. Not very fancy or anything but a good showcase for the cast iron.  The red cast iron in the pics is a LaCruesette and it is the most amazing piece of cookware i have ever owned. It is so dense it went to Alabama public schools. It is cast so well , its nickname is fishing rod. It conducts heat so well, its also leads the Cleveland Orchestra. It can handle 5 strips of bacon better than Brian Ballenger can  count how many pieces he’s eaten. All I’m saying is, it is the finest cast iron one could ever hope to use and it is made in France. dammmit!