Tag Archives: knoxville

How Jealousy Spurred Me to Make Biscuits

ok, so I guess I am a petty person. The other morning my lovely wife Rachelishungry decided to make some biscuits, and they turned out really nice. Light and fluffy, warm and tasty, just like her! minus the fluffy part of course…In other words her biscuits were the exact opposite of my many attempts at creating biscuits but actually making hockey pucks made of sawdust…I can cook almost anything, but a good biscuit has always eluded me for some reason which I have mentally swept under the kitchen rug for years…but  my wife’s biscuits made me so darn mad at myself i had to one up her and make even better biscuits, and by Jove and bu golly i think i did just that….sorry wifeishungry…i used an old recipe for Angel Biscuits from one of my vintage cookbooks…see, my biscuits were always too flat, like a can of pepsi sitting on the hood of a car in summer or the top of Glenn’s head…but the addition of yeast!?!?!?!?!?!? sounds like sacrilegious jibber jabber, but it sure did work..anyway..i ate one…lisaishungry ate one, catishungry ate one…somerandomladyintheshopishungry ate one…and we all agreed that they were the best biscuits ever made by anyone ever in the history of mankind, including your grandmother!!! yes YOU!!!!!<<<<<warning!!! the previous statement is probably not true in any way shape or form<<<<<<<

anywho, look at the pictures, yo! there’s even some pictures of the book store all up in this mofo!!! maybe even a PICTURE OF SOME POTATOES!!!!! FUDGE YES!!!! word to your mother..peace im out..abc-ya…drop the zero and get with the hero baby!!!!

 

 

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I is for “I Want to make Cookies!” A-Z Challenge: Day 9

The letter for today is “I” because its a very self absorbed day which only thinks of itself.  As some of you may or may not know, this is a thing

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/

and I’m a part of that thing. Check out other parts of that thing and join in the conversation, or just troll the comments, whatever floats your proverbial boat or turns your proverbial crank or greases your proverbial gears or puts wind in your proverbial sails or , worst case scenario, puts hair on your proverbial teeth.

Good news is I made cookies! Kind of! I was going for good old fashioned Doo-Doo Cookies, as i like to call them, but you may know them as Chocolate Oatmeal Refrigerator Cookies or No Bake Cookies, but they are in fact Doo-Doo Cookies…just admit it, you like eating doo-doo cookies, its OKAY..its not really poop..anywho

Mental note for all cookie makers…one CUP of butter is TWICE as much as one STICK of butter. That is why this turned into a Doo-Doo Bark instead of Doo-Doo Cookies….again with the doo-doo?!? my word! good lawd! gracious be!

I didn’t have cocoa powder so i used 60% cocoa dark chocolate chunks instead and put some more dark chocolate ships and white chocolate chips on top..sort of like the Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney video for “Say Say Say” one of my favorite 80’s videos/songs..i actually bought some suspenders and an old fashioned cap to mimic MJ in the video which was better than when i had the pleather Thriller jacket, but that is another horrifically awkward story that involves a straw fedora and white linen pants..ANywh0

here’s some pics

 

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A-Z Challenge Poetry, Days E, F and G, by Me, I’m Steveishungry You See

Hello fellow A-Zingers and all the rest! I had a great weekend, so good that blogging was not really a high enough priority to make it a reality. I spent a day with MissusSteveishungry playing disc golf and eating steak, and then a little more disc golf and a little more steak the next day. My urge to type was quashed soundly and rightfully so………ANywho

here I am with 3 letters backed up like the aforementioned steak in my John Wayne-esque colon of Carne, i am sure. Sorry, that was not really a pleasant sentence but i like it. Anywho

 

April is Poetry Month. It may be National or International or even Galactic or Pan-Galactic or Inter and/or Intra Dimensional in its scope but I missed that part of the story on NPR this morning because a turkey flew in front of my car and scared just a little bit of pee-pee out of me. Not really. Okay really. No, don’t listen to him, he’s scared of turkeys.What? I’ll show you!!(skirmish ensues, much blood is shed and teeth are generally gnashed)

ANywho…here’s a poem , each stanza a tribute the letters E, F and G, in that order, as is my want.

 

efficiently eviscerating everyone else

the evil elf with the uneven ears

erupts into laughter and then into tears

flowing freely like fountains with out any fears

forging ahead,freezing and failing to interfer

gorging on grandeuar  and grinding his gears

glowing and glowering, going on for years

going on for years

 

and FIN…..finger snap applause please….i must now go smoke a clove cigarette and adjust my beret before getting another free cup of coffee…please comment or ridicule or offer me a job as a poet…

and check these other A-Z blogger out..these are some smaller blogs, but they are still biiiiig on quality and deserve your eyeholes’ attention!

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/blogs-with-followers-a-z-challenge-is.html

 

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A-Z Challenge: The “C” Word of the day is….

CANDY! I LOVE CANDY…no i really do, i love the sweetest sticky sour candy aimed at 11 year olds and diabetics with a death wish.

WAIT< DO YOU HEAR THAT!?!?!?!?! it sounds like……

BULLET POINTS OF MY FAVORITE CANDIES!!!!

  • Sour Patch Kids. I once ate a literal pound of these during a movie at East Town Mall with the result being a chemical burn which removed the entire protective layer of saliva and cheek flesh and rendered me nigh-tastebudless for a week
  • Red Licorice Pipes from the Cracker Barrel that I don’t think they sale anymore cause its wrong for a kid to walk around looking like Sherlock Holmes whilst consuming sugar and food coloring
  • Shocktarts…cuz Sweet Tarts are for pussies, not literally of course, unless that’s your thing then really who am i to judge?
  • Lime flavored Taffy from the candy store in Gatlinburg. really any flavor of taffy from gatlinburg, but ones with bright colored stripes and an overwhelming dose of artificial tooty frooty inspired flavors really draw my favor..also Laffy Taffy cause the jokes fucking kill
  • Lik-M-Stick or whatever its called..the bag of sugar that comes with a tongue depresser made of sugar to eat the sugar with…i always assumed it was made from whatever spilled out when filling Pixies sticks
  • Candy cigarettes and Bubble gum Cigars…almost as cool as liquorice pipes if you factor in the puff of “smoke” but almost flavorless sticks of candy/chalk
  • Bubblegum from baseball/football/KISS/Dukes of Hazzard/Garbage Pail Kids cars…i use the term “gum” loosely
  • Chick-O-Stick which is an odd stick shaped concoction of coconut and peanut butter…I’m assuming this cause I don’t know really, as a kid I always assumed it had actual chicken in it
  • The Weird Little Pieces of Cheap Candy That Float to the Bottom of the Halloween Candy Bag….i love these, from the root beer barrels to the generic tootsie rolls to the gummy hamburgers and the elusive Fireball
  • Circus Peanuts. Really stale circus peanuts. not real circus peanuts but the orange sponges with that look like the Mr Peanut version of the shroud of Turin. This actually brings up a good point: most candies, especially chewy ones, I prefer stale, like leave the bag open for a weeek before eating stale. I believe it allows the sugars to coalesce with the local atmosphere to obtain a more geographically specific viscosity more attuned to the local evolution in which my palette has engaged …or something like that

welll, thats a small list of some of my favorite Candy sugar bombs, but there are so many more..what is your favorite candy? or your fave “c” word for that matter?

check out other A-Zer’s here http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/co-host-helpersassistants-2014.html

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A-Z Blog Challenge?? Why the heck not

So an old friend of mine is pushing this A-Z blog challenge at http://networkedblogs.com/VtCLK to get the blogosphere more bloggy and spherical, so I thought I would join in on the fun.  I traveled with this Testament-listening-to professional juggler and magician and his family and Noeltheoger 20-some odd years ago putting on a pre-recorded version of Pinnochio for Rotary and Lions clubs all across the US, a little bit of Canada and one fairly drunken day in Nuevo Laredo. Anyway, I”ll go into that in more details some other time..for now though its time for the……..

BATTLE OF THE BANDS< VOLUME ONE> Tom Waits VS. Tom Waits!!!

ok, as some of you know, I have a musical man crush on Tom Waits. I realize he is a polarizing figure for some music buffs, some who hate on his affected gravel-mouthed cookie monster singing voice.  I however find his songs wonderfully diverse and well crafted and the wide gamut of his recordings house an emotional mirror for most any frame of mind. So, here is one of my favorite songs my Mr. Waits, “Innocent When You Dream” Vote for your favorite version in the comments and give me a little idea of why you like one more than the other or maybe rant about blues riffs and Howling Wolf imitations, its really up to you.

 

So, you’ve got three choices! Why not four? Cause the Man won’t give me another one!

Remember, Vote Early and Vote Often

 

 

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Avocado French Fries…indeed!

fried avocado Ok . So I want to start off with an apology for this post. Never again will you be able to eat another fried potato and not be pissed off cuz you’re not eating this. Basically you take an avocado, peel it, slice it, dip it in an egg wash, dip it in bread crumbs, then fry those suckers!

They are fairly delicate and cook quickly, but they are soooooooo delicious. I tried them with flour and corn  meal and they were good as well, but the bread crumbs really gave it the crunch to match the warm creaminess of the avocado. I served it with a Sri-Racha yogurt ranch kind of dip stuff.

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The Poster Collection: Day Eight

I worked at a little hole in the wall/roach farm/ISS nightmare/underage-beer-provider/ chicken wing and beer joint located on the Strip in the early 90’s named Spicy’s. I worked both in the front and the back of the house at various times and witnessed some kitchen nightmares that would make Gordon Ramsey pee the bed.

As a caveat let me say this: the chicken wings , steak and cheese sammiches, and oriental bbq steak sammiches were ab=so=fucking=lutely deeeeelicious. Most of the recipes came from the original(?) owner, who was Asian. Not sure what part of Asia, but I really only met him once or twice as he rode off to California in his red Corvette( for realsies). The chicken wing sauce was very simple . yet unmatched in all my wing eating travels. The steak and cheeses were simple but fresh cut beef only because it was cheaper to pay someone almost nothing to cut it up than to buy it pre-made. The sauce for the oriental BBQ sammich was a sticky sweet concoction full of ginger and absurd amounts of garlic.  However…..

BULLET POINTS OF INSANITY FROM SPICY’S

  • We used to buy whole chicken wings and cut them by hand into the little drummies and 2nd joints. We did this by removing the safety guard from the meat slicer and cutting the severing the wings joints upon the spinning blade of doom. It was hugely effective but terrifying.
  • I saw the owner “allegedly” thaw a case of frozen chicken wings by running them thru the Hobart with the sopa hoses disconnected.
  • Once, to save a buck or two, the owner tried using solid shortening in the fryers. While cleaning it, the shortening overflowed and covered the floor in a congealed mass of discount , off brand crisco.
  • Roaches. Napkin Holders. Use your imagination. Then double that.
  • Gaggles of 17 year olds drunk on 24 ounce can’s of Foster’s, some of Murvill’s best and brightest at the time
  • We once sold 1600 pounds of chicken wings in a single day. This is part of why I really don’t like UT football games. Every Saturday home game is an exercise in torture if you work on the Strip
  • Tables of Vol’s linemen on all-you-can-eat wing nights could consume upwards of 50 poounds of wings per table. The most I saw ever was a skinny dude who ate almost 130 wings.
  • The owner of the building would sell parking spaces on gamedays, pack the cars in like sardines, and then leave. Noone could get out until the “key” cars were moved. Once mine was a “key” car and it was moved by a gang of about 8 guys into the middle of the street.
  • Whiskey. Knives. Hot grease. What could go wrong?

Anywho, here are some posters of sheer awesomeness

 

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