CANDY! I LOVE CANDY…no i really do, i love the sweetest sticky sour candy aimed at 11 year olds and diabetics with a death wish.
WAIT< DO YOU HEAR THAT!?!?!?!?! it sounds like……
BULLET POINTS OF MY FAVORITE CANDIES!!!!
- Sour Patch Kids. I once ate a literal pound of these during a movie at East Town Mall with the result being a chemical burn which removed the entire protective layer of saliva and cheek flesh and rendered me nigh-tastebudless for a week
- Red Licorice Pipes from the Cracker Barrel that I don’t think they sale anymore cause its wrong for a kid to walk around looking like Sherlock Holmes whilst consuming sugar and food coloring
- Shocktarts…cuz Sweet Tarts are for pussies, not literally of course, unless that’s your thing then really who am i to judge?
- Lime flavored Taffy from the candy store in Gatlinburg. really any flavor of taffy from gatlinburg, but ones with bright colored stripes and an overwhelming dose of artificial tooty frooty inspired flavors really draw my favor..also Laffy Taffy cause the jokes fucking kill
- Lik-M-Stick or whatever its called..the bag of sugar that comes with a tongue depresser made of sugar to eat the sugar with…i always assumed it was made from whatever spilled out when filling Pixies sticks
- Candy cigarettes and Bubble gum Cigars…almost as cool as liquorice pipes if you factor in the puff of “smoke” but almost flavorless sticks of candy/chalk
- Bubblegum from baseball/football/KISS/Dukes of Hazzard/Garbage Pail Kids cars…i use the term “gum” loosely
- Chick-O-Stick which is an odd stick shaped concoction of coconut and peanut butter…I’m assuming this cause I don’t know really, as a kid I always assumed it had actual chicken in it
- The Weird Little Pieces of Cheap Candy That Float to the Bottom of the Halloween Candy Bag….i love these, from the root beer barrels to the generic tootsie rolls to the gummy hamburgers and the elusive Fireball
- Circus Peanuts. Really stale circus peanuts. not real circus peanuts but the orange sponges with that look like the Mr Peanut version of the shroud of Turin. This actually brings up a good point: most candies, especially chewy ones, I prefer stale, like leave the bag open for a weeek before eating stale. I believe it allows the sugars to coalesce with the local atmosphere to obtain a more geographically specific viscosity more attuned to the local evolution in which my palette has engaged …or something like that
welll, thats a small list of some of my favorite Candy sugar bombs, but there are so many more..what is your favorite candy? or your fave “c” word for that matter?
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