Tag Archives: candy

A-Z Challenge: The “C” Word of the day is….

CANDY! I LOVE CANDY…no i really do, i love the sweetest sticky sour candy aimed at 11 year olds and diabetics with a death wish.

WAIT< DO YOU HEAR THAT!?!?!?!?! it sounds like……

BULLET POINTS OF MY FAVORITE CANDIES!!!!

  • Sour Patch Kids. I once ate a literal pound of these during a movie at East Town Mall with the result being a chemical burn which removed the entire protective layer of saliva and cheek flesh and rendered me nigh-tastebudless for a week
  • Red Licorice Pipes from the Cracker Barrel that I don’t think they sale anymore cause its wrong for a kid to walk around looking like Sherlock Holmes whilst consuming sugar and food coloring
  • Shocktarts…cuz Sweet Tarts are for pussies, not literally of course, unless that’s your thing then really who am i to judge?
  • Lime flavored Taffy from the candy store in Gatlinburg. really any flavor of taffy from gatlinburg, but ones with bright colored stripes and an overwhelming dose of artificial tooty frooty inspired flavors really draw my favor..also Laffy Taffy cause the jokes fucking kill
  • Lik-M-Stick or whatever its called..the bag of sugar that comes with a tongue depresser made of sugar to eat the sugar with…i always assumed it was made from whatever spilled out when filling Pixies sticks
  • Candy cigarettes and Bubble gum Cigars…almost as cool as liquorice pipes if you factor in the puff of “smoke” but almost flavorless sticks of candy/chalk
  • Bubblegum from baseball/football/KISS/Dukes of Hazzard/Garbage Pail Kids cars…i use the term “gum” loosely
  • Chick-O-Stick which is an odd stick shaped concoction of coconut and peanut butter…I’m assuming this cause I don’t know really, as a kid I always assumed it had actual chicken in it
  • The Weird Little Pieces of Cheap Candy That Float to the Bottom of the Halloween Candy Bag….i love these, from the root beer barrels to the generic tootsie rolls to the gummy hamburgers and the elusive Fireball
  • Circus Peanuts. Really stale circus peanuts. not real circus peanuts but the orange sponges with that look like the Mr Peanut version of the shroud of Turin. This actually brings up a good point: most candies, especially chewy ones, I prefer stale, like leave the bag open for a weeek before eating stale. I believe it allows the sugars to coalesce with the local atmosphere to obtain a more geographically specific viscosity more attuned to the local evolution in which my palette has engaged …or something like that

welll, thats a small list of some of my favorite Candy sugar bombs, but there are so many more..what is your favorite candy? or your fave “c” word for that matter?

check out other A-Zer’s here http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/co-host-helpersassistants-2014.html

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Bacon Chocolate Chip Pineapple and Jalapeno Cookies

Sometimes you have to take risks. Like when you really really REALLY  want to jump out of an airplane or you take up chainsaw juggling or play Russian roulette with a psychic. This however is not such a time.  Never has anything  been so obvious to me, not even the fact that my wife hates it when I grow my sideburns out. Basically it goes like this: Cookies+ Bacon+ Chocolate+ Pineapples+Jalapenos=Eating while You Make Noises normally reserved for R rated  movie love scenes.

So basically the recipe is kind of as follows. I always use the chocolate chip cookie recipe from the back of the Nestle package of chocolate chips. So, for specifics, look there. What i did to these little yummy monsters was to add some oven dried pineapple rubbed with brown sugar, some raw diced jalapenos, deseeded of course, and topped with delicious Candied Bacon. Candied Bacon. Say it again in your mind. Candied Bacon. I dice the bacon and toss it with brown sugar and some cracked black pepper, then you bake it around 350 degrees on some parchment paper. I pulled the cookies out a couple of minutes early and topped with the now delicious Candied Bacon. Candied Bacon. Candied Bacon. Oh, sorry. Then they go back in the oven for a minute or two. Be careful not to burn your bacon or your cookies. Do Not OverCook Your Cookies. Just don’t. In general, cook cookies until the tops just start to crack then pull them out and let cool on the pan for 5 minutes then transfer to wire rack. Anyway, these cookies are a twist on something familiar and combine flavors that pair up nicely but doubled up into a group in stead of two unrelated yet sumptuous pairs. So, here’s the pictures, try no to lick the screen.

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