Monthly Archives: April 2014

J is for Jokes! Okay actually, J is for Joke.

For today’s A-Z Challenge http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/ I’m going to tell you all a joke.

It is an original joke written by by oldest son, Milesishungry. He has written many, many jokes, each one usually more absurd and confusing than the last, but he did stumble upon a gem of punnery and gunnery as it were. A a former class clown and a lover of bad stand-up everywhere, I was proud as could be. So, with no further ado……..

 

What do you call a gun that only shoots urine?

A pistol

 

you’ve got to say it out loud of course, and i think its quiet good..what do you think? Image

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I is for “I Want to make Cookies!” A-Z Challenge: Day 9

The letter for today is “I” because its a very self absorbed day which only thinks of itself.  As some of you may or may not know, this is a thing

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/

and I’m a part of that thing. Check out other parts of that thing and join in the conversation, or just troll the comments, whatever floats your proverbial boat or turns your proverbial crank or greases your proverbial gears or puts wind in your proverbial sails or , worst case scenario, puts hair on your proverbial teeth.

Good news is I made cookies! Kind of! I was going for good old fashioned Doo-Doo Cookies, as i like to call them, but you may know them as Chocolate Oatmeal Refrigerator Cookies or No Bake Cookies, but they are in fact Doo-Doo Cookies…just admit it, you like eating doo-doo cookies, its OKAY..its not really poop..anywho

Mental note for all cookie makers…one CUP of butter is TWICE as much as one STICK of butter. That is why this turned into a Doo-Doo Bark instead of Doo-Doo Cookies….again with the doo-doo?!? my word! good lawd! gracious be!

I didn’t have cocoa powder so i used 60% cocoa dark chocolate chunks instead and put some more dark chocolate ships and white chocolate chips on top..sort of like the Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney video for “Say Say Say” one of my favorite 80’s videos/songs..i actually bought some suspenders and an old fashioned cap to mimic MJ in the video which was better than when i had the pleather Thriller jacket, but that is another horrifically awkward story that involves a straw fedora and white linen pants..ANywh0

here’s some pics

 

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A-Z…H is for Happy Birthday to Me!

so , I’m 43 now. a prime number. i’m so happy i could puke.

No, not really, age is but a number , much like pi….mmmm, pi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtjCXPxhMuc

so for my A-Z Challenge, i choose to be lazy and just wish myself Happy Birthday….here are some more happy songs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WpxG9TqZD4http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV3VjF64ga4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fY_tsdkq9c&list=PLW6tuJWJuPXzcMu_0Vht-3zaPkxPDTCDy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Lb20YL-Zh8

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A-Z Challenge Poetry, Days E, F and G, by Me, I’m Steveishungry You See

Hello fellow A-Zingers and all the rest! I had a great weekend, so good that blogging was not really a high enough priority to make it a reality. I spent a day with MissusSteveishungry playing disc golf and eating steak, and then a little more disc golf and a little more steak the next day. My urge to type was quashed soundly and rightfully so………ANywho

here I am with 3 letters backed up like the aforementioned steak in my John Wayne-esque colon of Carne, i am sure. Sorry, that was not really a pleasant sentence but i like it. Anywho

 

April is Poetry Month. It may be National or International or even Galactic or Pan-Galactic or Inter and/or Intra Dimensional in its scope but I missed that part of the story on NPR this morning because a turkey flew in front of my car and scared just a little bit of pee-pee out of me. Not really. Okay really. No, don’t listen to him, he’s scared of turkeys.What? I’ll show you!!(skirmish ensues, much blood is shed and teeth are generally gnashed)

ANywho…here’s a poem , each stanza a tribute the letters E, F and G, in that order, as is my want.

 

efficiently eviscerating everyone else

the evil elf with the uneven ears

erupts into laughter and then into tears

flowing freely like fountains with out any fears

forging ahead,freezing and failing to interfer

gorging on grandeuar  and grinding his gears

glowing and glowering, going on for years

going on for years

 

and FIN…..finger snap applause please….i must now go smoke a clove cigarette and adjust my beret before getting another free cup of coffee…please comment or ridicule or offer me a job as a poet…

and check these other A-Z blogger out..these are some smaller blogs, but they are still biiiiig on quality and deserve your eyeholes’ attention!

http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/blogs-with-followers-a-z-challenge-is.html

 

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A-Z day 4..D is for Doodle

image

Well folks , the A-Z challenge here at the blog is up to the letter D..,, and I was feeling kinda lazy….. but I did something kind of special. Today D is for doodle …..look at this one…. I did it… worship it… offer me money for it…. comment… Google A-Z Challenge 2014 and please read some of the fine blogs listed there

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A-Z Challenge: The “C” Word of the day is….

CANDY! I LOVE CANDY…no i really do, i love the sweetest sticky sour candy aimed at 11 year olds and diabetics with a death wish.

WAIT< DO YOU HEAR THAT!?!?!?!?! it sounds like……

BULLET POINTS OF MY FAVORITE CANDIES!!!!

  • Sour Patch Kids. I once ate a literal pound of these during a movie at East Town Mall with the result being a chemical burn which removed the entire protective layer of saliva and cheek flesh and rendered me nigh-tastebudless for a week
  • Red Licorice Pipes from the Cracker Barrel that I don’t think they sale anymore cause its wrong for a kid to walk around looking like Sherlock Holmes whilst consuming sugar and food coloring
  • Shocktarts…cuz Sweet Tarts are for pussies, not literally of course, unless that’s your thing then really who am i to judge?
  • Lime flavored Taffy from the candy store in Gatlinburg. really any flavor of taffy from gatlinburg, but ones with bright colored stripes and an overwhelming dose of artificial tooty frooty inspired flavors really draw my favor..also Laffy Taffy cause the jokes fucking kill
  • Lik-M-Stick or whatever its called..the bag of sugar that comes with a tongue depresser made of sugar to eat the sugar with…i always assumed it was made from whatever spilled out when filling Pixies sticks
  • Candy cigarettes and Bubble gum Cigars…almost as cool as liquorice pipes if you factor in the puff of “smoke” but almost flavorless sticks of candy/chalk
  • Bubblegum from baseball/football/KISS/Dukes of Hazzard/Garbage Pail Kids cars…i use the term “gum” loosely
  • Chick-O-Stick which is an odd stick shaped concoction of coconut and peanut butter…I’m assuming this cause I don’t know really, as a kid I always assumed it had actual chicken in it
  • The Weird Little Pieces of Cheap Candy That Float to the Bottom of the Halloween Candy Bag….i love these, from the root beer barrels to the generic tootsie rolls to the gummy hamburgers and the elusive Fireball
  • Circus Peanuts. Really stale circus peanuts. not real circus peanuts but the orange sponges with that look like the Mr Peanut version of the shroud of Turin. This actually brings up a good point: most candies, especially chewy ones, I prefer stale, like leave the bag open for a weeek before eating stale. I believe it allows the sugars to coalesce with the local atmosphere to obtain a more geographically specific viscosity more attuned to the local evolution in which my palette has engaged …or something like that

welll, thats a small list of some of my favorite Candy sugar bombs, but there are so many more..what is your favorite candy? or your fave “c” word for that matter?

check out other A-Zer’s here http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/p/co-host-helpersassistants-2014.html

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A-Z Challenge: Day 2…Battle of the Banjos!

thanks to the good people at http://tossingitout.blogspot.com/ I am playing around with an A-Z blog a day challenge( in case you missed yesterday’s post, which judging by the hits on the blog, most of you did, but that’s ok, i don’t mind, sniff sniff)…today is the 2nd day od the month so its logically the 2nd letter’s turn and that letter is B (not sure why i needed to express that, if one is reading this one knows one’s alphabet one would assume)….yesterday i did a battle of the bands that had nothing to do with the letter A and for that i am sorry..kind of…like the kind of sorry when you are crossing the street and traffic waits and you give a little wave of self deprecation…today I am keeping up the battle of the bands with BANJOS!!!…see all them b’s over yonder<<<<<<< its like a gosh-dern honey factory, yuk yuk yuk…anywho

there are again three choices..the 1st is Danny Barnes form the Bad Livers doing an original (i think) with his newest incarnation Thee Old Codgers….he’s a bluegrass musician with punk rock sensibilities and jazz influenced originality

The 2nd is banjo-god Bela Fleck taking the instrument back to its African roots and playing a hair-raising song with a thumb pianist…huhuhuhuh, I said thumb pianist

If you don’t know who the third one is then you should spend the rest of this day and the next listening to Flatt and Scruggs exclusively

 

so, there you go, bunches of 5-string goodness to chew on and decide which one you prefer and why…let me know in the comment section, subscribe, like, share, retweet, etc etc

heres some more bloggers in the challenge

http://tossingitout.blogspot.com/

http://amloki.blogspot.com/

http://alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com/

http://kmdlifeisgood.blogspot.com/

http://dlcruisingaltitude.blogspot.com/

 

 

 

 

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