The Perfect Recipe for Sausage Gravy

I was always envious of my friend CarlDonDiegoDelDitto about his ability to make sausage gravy. I never really saw him cook to much else other than steaks and microwaved bacon, but his gravy rocked. However everytime i mimicked it, i got a glob of wallpaper paste. So i gave up and didn’t make gravy for almost 20 years, but now i have been reborn as the new Sausage Gravy Messiah, complete with a greasy halo and 6 disciples…why only 6? because the Man wouldn’t let me have a full baker’s dozen!!! and as my loyal subjects i will share this recipe with you, which is really more of a technique , but we shall call it recipe worthy.

we’re going to start with two pounds of mild sausage. I prefer Wampler’s All Natural, a locally produced nitrate and preservative free, but any sausage will work.

anywho….so you can use one of two things to cook this sausage in. I prefer an electric skillet, because i can set the temperature exactly at 300 degrees and it doesn’t weigh 50 pounds like the more traditional iron skillet. the iron skillet will definitely give you more street cred, but that is up to you.

cook your sausage , crumbling it up with a wooden spoon as you go. when all the pink has been cooked out, its time to add your flour. DO NOT remove the sausage from the skillet. Just don’t, i don’t care what Paula Dean says. Sprinkle a cup of all purpose flour over your sausage crumbles and start stirring that sucker, maybe lowering the heat if it starts to stick or burn. Keep it moving until all the flour is “gone” and then continue to cook  and stir constantly for another 5 minutes. This will cook the flour avoiding any raw flour taste, which makes total sense since it will no longer be raw flour. What a useless sentence that was. Anyway, after you have cooked your floured sausage crumbles, you are going to add around 3 cups of milk, preferably whole milk but others will work. Don’t bother with skim though as you are adding it to two pounds of sausage. Also don’t order diet coke with your fried chicken and cheeseburgers, it is just freaking annoying and pointless. OK, so keep stirring that mixture you have and it will thicken right up in a minute or two…don’t walk away from it…if it gets too thick add some more milk…and of course you will need some fresh cracked black pepper, as much or as little as you like, but it is crucial, in my opinion…now serve it on top of biscuits and eat it! eat it now!!!!

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