What A Freaking Jerk…um i mean Jamaican Jerked Ribs

Well, in order to make a short story long, please allow me to tell you the tale of my quest to have a Decent Lunch today. I started the morning by dropping off the eldest Hungryspawn at school and heading up the hills to the oh so quaint and discreet and not tacky at all, yet still incredibly fun because they have putt putt on the side of a freaking mountain and a moonshine distillery with free samples and you can watch the hypnotic taffy machine all day without anyone wondering if you are “under the influence’ of exotic fungi and you can buy funnel cakes 356 days a year, town of Gatlinburg, Tennessee: Home to tourists by the blue billions and the tackiest crap this side of the Strand at myrtle beach (or i think that it is called). However, just off the the side of the hoopla is a nice little HB Clark designed disc golf course at Mills Park. I met a good friend, we’ll call him the Tomahawker for reasons you are not privileged enough to know and proceeded to give him a disc golf whooping. I mean, i made him go pick out his own switch for the ass whooping! Well, to be honest it was pretty close up until he went all Tin Cup on a hole and threw 5 drivers out of bounds. Anywho, All of this mountainous disc golfing and former college athlete ass whooping made me powerfully hungry and my mind lept to a sign i had seen on the way to the course for the “Rib Doctor’s BBQ” and I decided to check him out. Quaint little place, off the beaten path, smelled great, the owner was nice, BBQ sauce tasted awesome on my finger tips. All in all a nice , traditional BBQ joint. Nothing fancy, no one was in a hurry, not even freaking close to being in a hurry. They were in fact, in an anti hurry. They also do not take debit cards, and since my i had no fancy bendy-foldy money dollars, I left hungrier than I arrived, still tasting the lingering spiciness from my sample o’ sauce. I will return.

So, I headed down the road and came upon a newer BBQ restaurant called Smokin’ Ed’s BBQ. Ever notice how a lot of BBq places don’t like the letter “G” at the end of their descriptive adjectives? Me too. The place was very crowded with a lively group of what appeared to be city workers and secreataries but they sat me straight down, which i am unsure of because they apparantly were not able to present pulled pork sandwich to me in 20 minutes!!! I waited 20 minutes for a sandwich of precooked meat and a bowl of precooked beans. Actually, I waited for them for 20 minutes, then got up and walked to my car, empty bellied and even more unsatisfied than before.  To be fair, the place was new, being only open for two weeks and did not seem prepared for a busy Friday lunch rush. I heard then 86 the cole slaw, and this was at 12:30. Bed planning or half-assed kitchen management obviously coming in to play in my near soul shattering BBQ denial.

Back into the Hungrymobile and off towards the homestead I went, stomach growling and grumbling, visions of smoked meats dancing in my head. That’s when my eyes did divine upon the glorious site of Jamaican Food. OK, not the catchiest name, and I think technically it might be Jamaican Sunrise or Paradise? What you can call it is freaking fanfreakingtastic, and i am not freaking kidding the freak around! The building was originally a King Arthur’s burgers back in the 80’s or 90’s and was a Central Park clone, which is an horrific theory actually. Over the years it also housed The San Antoni Chili Bake restaurant, which served texas flavored “hot dogs” which were basically oblong meatloafs with chili seasoning and chili and cheese, sour cream etc, etc on top of them. I personally liked them but they did not last long. Then it was a coffee shop of some kind or another, Mountain Mudd i think( because everything has to be named after the mountains around here) and I think it was a Gourmet To Go or something like that with a menu so boring sounding the one time I stopped in I decided to just go to sonic instead. Sonic. That’s right, and not just for a big cherry limeade to dump gin into.

Back to the food: I got 1/4 rack of ribs with hot jerk sauce on the side and a slice of white texas toast, untoasted. I also picked up a jerk chicken sandwich for my friend, Lisasellsbooksandishungry. They were both amazing! They were actually “jerked” meats and not just grilled meat with jerk seasoning on them. you could taste the different spices used, and see the onions and yummy bits on the ribs. They each had their own flavor profile though, not just the same flavor with a different protein. The sauce is FREAKING HOT!!!! and awesome, and homemade, and delicioso, and if it wasn’t so damn spicy, I would gargle with it. It is such a contrast to the goopy jerk sauce found at the grocery or on corporate plates.  The menu also included red curry and rice, beans and rice and the specialty of the house, oxtail soup. I have never tried oxtail soup, and I really wanted the ribs, but I plan on returning to try it just on the theory that it might be as good as these freaking ribs!Sorry the pictures of the ribs were fuzzy, but my pupils were still vibrating from the jerk sauce and i could not focus. If you are ever cruising down east Broadway in good old Maryville (Murvill), Tennessee, please do yourself a favor and go get jerked! and then go get some of this fantastic food.

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11 Comments

Filed under pictures, restaurants, store bought yummies

11 responses to “What A Freaking Jerk…um i mean Jamaican Jerked Ribs

  1. mike

    I confirm the truth of this post.. anything jerk related anyway

  2. This little place looks lonely, and sounds like it definitely shouldn’t be.
    There should be queues running out of the door and cars cruisin’ for a parkin’ space.
    Please do some local word-of-mouth advertisin’ for them because little tucked-out-of-the-way places need it… and deserves it too if the food is an undiscovered gem. Those roadworks won’t be makin’ their life any easier for the time bein’ either, this excellent find needs sharin’ !

    (See, I can do dropped ‘g’s” too LOL).. sadly my accent if I even attempted to pronounce the above, would definitely draw some attention, and not for the right reasons. Then again, there are quite a few zillion new terms for me in this post today.. amongst them “sonic”? as in super sonic?, “cherry limeade to dump gin into” (just plain ?????), “disc golf whooping” (Do I want to go there?)
    So, my general ignorance of much of your local lingo aside, I enjoyed this post, just one question: I don’t suppose they let you score the recipe?

  3. This little place looks lonely, and sounds like it definitely shouldn’t be.
    There should be queues running out of the door and cars cruisin’ for a parkin’ space.
    Please do some local word-of-mouth advertisin’ for them because little tucked-out-of-the-way places need it… and deserves it too if the food is an undiscovered gem. Those roadworks won’t be makin’ their life any easier for the time bein’ either, this excellent find needs sharin’ !

    (See, I can do dropped ‘g’s” too LOL).. sadly my accent if I even attempted to pronounce the above, would definitely draw some attention, and not for the right reasons. .and wow! a few zillion new terms for me in this post today.. amongst them “sonic”? as in super sonic?, “cherry limeade to dump gin into” (just plain ?????), “disc golf whooping” (Do I want to go there?)

    My general ignorance of much of your local lingo aside, I enjoyed this post, just one question: I don’t suppose they let you score the recipe?

    • kiwi, you always make me grin with your comments…Sonic is a fast food chain in america which sucks but has awesome cherry limeade(cherry juice, lime juice and sprite) which is really good with some gin in it, such as Tanqueary…disc golf whooping means i beat, or “whooped” someone at a round of frisbee golf…and i would LVOE to hear you speak “american” lingo with your kiwidutch accent

      • Ah ha, so at sonic the take-a-ways arrives super sonically ? (NOT), I gather from your experience.
        I’m a little more educated on the mystery-bits now except *what* pray tell is frisbee golf? You fling a frisbee and try and get it to land in a hole LOL?
        (forgive my mirth but this one is making my eyes water with laughter at the imagination of how this might work)
        My “American” impression would make your eyes water too, you’ll need nappies on, as you’d probably laugh yourself incontinent.

      • well, at Sonic, your orders are brought to your car by a wait person on roller skates..seriously…kind of like the movie “American Graffiti”, if that helps you’re description of frisbee golf is pretty accurate, except instead of a hole, we throw frisbees into a metal basket with a halo of chains mounted on a steel pole…this explains better than i can

        http://www.pdga.com/introduction

        and yes this is real…my buddy is current US champion..he’s 18 years old and has made over 30 thousand bucks last year playing disc , aka frisbee golf

      • and by nappies i assume you mean diapers? crazy non-americans trying to speak english…(sarcastic laugh)

  4. Oh yes, your “diapers” ! yes I meant those LOL
    Thanks for the link, I’ve never even heard of this and if I’d passed by one of these metal baskets in a park, I’d have thought it a very strange attempt at a rubbish bin! But if you played this in a park you run the risk if hitting someone walking along, or your Frisbee being snatched by an exuberant dog, so does this then have to be played on a special course?
    If it can be done in a park then it’s something I’d love to see introduced into The Netherlands, but if it needs a special course then it’s simply not going to happen, (lack of space and cost of land here means that golf is a VERY high fee paying sport, I can’t see the land owners getting any/enough return on something that wouldn’t earn the same kind of money)
    I love the idea though, and learned about a sport I never dreamed existed!
    $30.000,- from playing frisbee?? That’s impressive! (don’t tell my kids or they will never do their homework LOL)

    • there are 6 courses in the netherlands

      http://www.pdga.com/course_directory/country/nl

      2 in rotterdam, one is amsterdam and the rest i cannot even read much less pronounce

      the courses are usually in public parks and the land usage is about 1/4 of traditional golf…as far as walkers and dogs, one must always observe proper course etiquette and safety

      plus the cost of installing a course is about the same as one tennis court…and the land desired is usually not wanted by others…disc golf courses need trees, elevation changes, rock formations, creeks, that kind of stuff to be intersting…the last thing you want for a course is rolling pastures and wide open spaces

  5. Wow, what an amazing new thing to learn about AND that’s actually available and know ( to a few at least) here. The only thing NL isn’t so good with are elevation changes, there’s a saying here ” when a Dutchman wants a hill he digs a hole” 🙂 (it’s so very true). Water hazards in the form of canals we have aplenty!

  6. Marcia Mayne

    Decided to write something about ‘jerk’ for tomorrow’s post. Jerk, not the pseudo stuff we get here in the States but the real stuff that’s got real Scotch Bonnett peppers as the base of the sauce.
    I write a travel blog, I post everyday. Check me out here http://insidejourneys.com

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